Do you think your ready for baby number 2? Have you thought about if you want more then one child? Have you decided if you want children back to back or years in between?
Me, for right now I don't want anymore children. Jade is finally at a point where she is becoming self sufficient. She feeds her self, is potty-trained, tries to dress her self according to her "I can do myself, I can do myself!" So I question why I would ever want to go back to burping babies, waking up for numerous feedings, diaper changes, strollers uggggh the thought makes me shudder LOL. I mean my daughter has play dates galore, my fam and friends take her at least one day each weekend so why would I want to go back to being sleep deprived and home all the time.
Any man who I date I explain that I'm not interested in babies unless the man is rich and I can have a nanny, live in nanny. LOL don't judge me LOL. But on a serious note I always wonder if I can love another child the same way I love Jade. Yes all parents say I love you both, or all of you the same but I believe that is a bold face lie. I think every parent has a favorite, a child they identify more with for whatever reason. And I believe children with siblings are able to identify that relationship and it leaves a void. I always was able to identify who my mothers favorite was as well as my dads and I see it in my cousins and friends as well.
So what do you do? Do you go ahead and have multiple children believing that in the end you will love them all the same? Do you have 1 child and spoil them rotten give them all the love that's in you? In situations where you are a single mother, how do you feel about having children by more then 1 man? Will this new man love your child the same way he loves his child?
I'm sure this is a topic I will revisit in the future as my life changes but for now what do you think, more children or only child syndrome????
Its your thoughts?
Its MommE-Talk
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whoa! So I can truly say I believe I love my children (2 boys)equally but not the same. When my youngest was born with medical issues i was back and forth to the hospital and to specialists I didnt have much time with my oldest as I would like, one day he asked me if i loved him like I loved the baby and I told him mommy had 3 hearts one for him, one for his baby brother, and one that everyone else shared. That seemed to comfort him... I told him even though we didnt spend as much time together doesnt mean I love him any less. I really do feel I love them equally. When I look in my oldest eyes I remember the first time I saw him, I remember all the funny stories he tells me, hes sensitive and I baby him sometimes because of this. I am more careful with my youngest and a little more sensitive to his needs because of his health issues, however he seems more independent than my oldest. when I am tending to my youngest I have noticed that my oldest may get jealous at times but everyday I let him know I love him and that he was my first baby and nothing can ever replace that!
ReplyDeleteI do recognize favoritism I feel that way in the relationship with my dad and my other siblings. My childrens grandmother plays favoritism with her two sons and I feel it has affected the way my sons' father loves them. I believe he never wants them to feel the way he has felt in the past. And I believe seeing the way he was treated made me want to never treat my boys differently.
I never wanted to have children by different men for that reason. I need my children to bond with that man and have an understanding with that man but they have a father and will be loved by him and I. Now if I were to have another child with a man I would totally not want my children to feel slighted in anyway or to think I am starting a new family and dont care about them anymore... A good example of this is the Kardashians although I don't know how each kid feels I believe they have integrated their family in a good way!
I agree with you, Anonymous, definitely don't have a favorite amongst my 3 children. But I can understand how someone with only one child could feel that way...i wondered if I could love my 2nd the way I loved my 1st. But I soon found out that the love multiplied and did not divide. I never felt like my mother had favorites either, and she taught us very early on, not to compare with our siblings...she taught us that she treated us fair and not equal because we are 3 different people. That in itself brought comfort to all of us...I needed more attention than my sisters did, and they were fine with my mother giving it to me, because they preferred not to be "smothered" I also feel the SAME way about you with regards to all of my children having the same father...once I decided to start having children with my husband, it's a wrap to having any with anybody else if by chance we don't stay together...Children are a gift from God, and are definitely a gift to each other...Even though, it's alot of work, I put my own selfishness aside and I am glad that my children have each other to grow up with and depend on...
ReplyDeleteI don't have any children yet but I can comment on favoritism in my own life. I am the eldest of four and I do believe my mom shared herself evenly with us all. She was also able to identify each child's need and cater to that. I think a big part of having more than one child is knowing them individually. From the outside looking in it is hard to split yourself between four children, a husband, work, and still be you. It can be done. I love the statement "love multiplies not divides". I definitely believe I lived this.
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