Powerful message to mothers and women

I started reading a new book and the first few pages were a special message to women. While reading it I thought it was definitely something necessary to send to my readers, those of you who are mothers and those of you who are want to be a mother in the future.

In the opening pages of Mary B Morrison's Who's Loving You the author writes:

Hear me when I say, "no one will ever treat you worse then you treat yourself," and no one should treat you better. When times get hard- we all experience hard times- and there seems to be no way out... keep breathing. Live another second, hold on another minute, hang in there another hour, and with each passing moment, know that your internal beauty is the pure essence of the greatest love, because without you; without your womanly nurturing, your motherly instincts, your ability to breathe life into every living human being; without women, MEN WOULD CEASE TO EXIST!!!!

Don't let men brainwash you into believing they hold the power in a relationship. THEY DON'T. Giving birth is the highest power of procreation. Men can't do that. So, ladies don't have babies for men who aren't worthy of your power.

This passage struck me hard. I read and re-read a number of times. Hindsight is 20/20 but I know for sure that moving forward in any relationship including the interaction between myself and Jades father that this isn't about him or the little he has done to bring this beautiful child into the world and keep her safe while she is here. Its about Me and all I will continue to do to bring her up to be a strong woman who understands the value of being a women and learns the mistakes of so many women before her.

MommE- Mondays:Recall

Good Morning MommE's and DaddE's,

I missed my MommE Monday's this week but here is the make-up post! RECALLS:

The past few months have been filled with recalls on products for children and it doesn't seem to be letting up. As of October 23, 2010 the newest recall is HYLAND"S TEETHING TABLETS. According to the company the tablets are manufactured to contain a small amount of belladonna, a substance that can cause serious harm at a larger dose. This recall involves Hyland's Teething Tablets with the following UPC codes: # 3 54973 75041, # 3 54973 75042, # 3 54973 75066, # 3 54973 75044, # 3 54973 75121, and # 3 54973 35109.



Immediately stop using this product and dispose of any tablets in your possession. If your child experiences symptoms such as seizures, difficulty breathing, lethargy, excessive sleepiness, muscle weakness, skin flushing, constipation, difficulty urinating, or agitation after using Hyland's Teething Tablets, consult your health care professional. Any adverse reactions may also be reported to the FDA's MedWatch Program by fax at 1-800-FDA-0178, by mail at MedWatch, FDA, 5600 Fishers Lane, Rockville, MD 20852-9787, or on the MedWatch Web site at fda.gov/medwatch FOR MORE INFORMATION:fda.gov/NewsEvents/Newsroom/PressAnnouncements/ucm230761.htm


Hope this helps!!!

MommE Mondays

HI all,

I know I'm a few days off, but even this blogging MommE needs to enjoy vacations. This week we are going to focus on the many wives tales and myths surrounding pregnancy.

Carrying High, Carrying Low

The general story goes that, if you're carrying low, you're having a boy. If you are carrying high, then you must be having a girl. Science says "NO, NO, NO!" to this: the way you carry is determined by muscle and uterine tone as well as the position of your baby.

Choking the baby with the umbilical cord:

If you hold your arms above your head, your baby's umbilical cord will get wrapped around its head and choke it. This myth may have a spiritual basis or it may have been a way to keep women from doing anything when they were pregnant (perhaps the myth was created by an overworked mother?). However, if your baby gets caught up in its umbilical cord (which happens in about a 1/3 of births) it is because your baby was very fidgety inside of you and moved around a lot, not because of you.

Bathing while pregnant:

A pregnant woman should not take baths. This myth is routed in the belief that water can get into the vagina and thereby introduce bacteria to the baby. Scientists have proven that water does not enter a woman's vagina during a bath. In fact, baths will probably help pregnant women feel better by helping them relax.

Don't breastfeed a toddler during pregnancy because the new baby needs all the nourishment it can get.

False. If a woman is healthy, breastfeeding during pregnancy won't harm her, the fetus, or her toddler. (A doctor may recommend that a pregnant woman not breastfeed, though, if she has a nutritional deficiency, is underweight, or is at risk for pre-term labor.)

If You Have Heartburn During Pregnancy Your Baby Has A Lot of Hair
Because of there being less room in your stomach since there is a baby growing and pushing on it, heartburn is actually extremely common during those nine months. There is no proof or reason to believe that having heartburn is a sign of a baby being born with a head full of hair.

Stop eating spicy food

People say spicy foods can cause premature labor. Think about it: do women from cultures that adore hot, spicy foods switch to a bland diet when they get pregnant? Nope, it's just another one of those pregnancy old wives tales. They still enjoy their favorite dishes and you can, too. You may find that spicy foods trigger heartburn or indigestion, though, in which case you'll want to hold off until after the pregnancy.

This is it for now! I hope this helps some of you realize that as a pregnant woman you can still live a normal life. This is not to say there aren't many real issues that pregnant woman face and if you have any questions or concerns you should contact your OB/GYN not your friend from up the block whose grandmother has advice.




*Just a note all information in today's post was found on the following websites:
pregnancy-info.net
storknet.com
kidshealth.org
babiesonline.com
pregnancy.lovetoknow. com

WorldWide Wednesday

Good Afternoon MommE's and DaddE's welcome to WorldWide Wednesdays. For those of you who know me personally you know I love to travel and this year was Jade's first vacation. After seeing how much she loved the experience I decided I wanted to share travel tips, deals, and adventures with you. I will also post cheap deals for JUST THE PARENTS, as a happy mommE and daddE is just as important.

First stop Montego Bay, Jamaica

Entertainment/Activities
I loved Jamaica and the resort that we stayed in The Sunset Beach Resort and Spa. This resort was very family friendly. From a childcare system to a children's pool complete with water slide for the older kids and a baby slide for the toddlers. Even on rainy days the fun didn't stop as the resort provided family friendly entertainment, Jade even won a prize for participating in a dance contest.
In the evening the resort had many different activities to attend, a childrens talent showcase was held one night, as well as a "fashion show. " And for the sake of all guests at the hotel all activities died down by 2am.

Pricing
The pricing was great as well. Sunset Resort Beach and Spa is an all-inclusive resort. Children under 3 are FREE and children aged 3-12 are half priced for their stay. They also receive wrist bands.

Doctor/Convenient stores etc.
On the resort property is a doctors office and thankfully I didn't need to use them. They also had a gift shop and convenient store on the property selling items like suntan lotion, floaties, life vests, combs, and brushes. I was able to buy Jade a life vest and floaties for only $5.

Overall I enjoyed my time at the Resort, food choices were abundant, activities were everywhere, ample pool space and spacious rooms. I would definitely recommend these resort for families.

http://www.sunsetbeachresort.com/

MommE Mondays

With so many people around me pregnant or new mothers I decided to start a MommE Monday column. Every Monday I will answer a question that was asked of me about pregnancy or being a new mom and if I haven't received a question I will take the time to address an issue that I think is very important.

This week I am going to start with the age old LIE that says when your pregnant your eating for two! In one word that is BULLSHIT! So many women find out they are pregnant and all of a sudden they are soooo hungry, and having cravings and you begin to hear well I'm eating for two now so I might as well have more. NO that is not true.

According to BabyCenter.com: Your body becomes more efficient during pregnancy and is able to absorb more of the nutrients you eat. So consuming twice as much doesn't double your chances of having a healthy baby – instead, it's likely to mean excessive weight gain for you, which can put you at risk for pregnancy complications.

If you're at a healthy weight, you need no additional calories in the first trimester, about 300 extra calories a day in the second trimester, and about 450 extra calories a day in the third trimester. If you're overweight or underweight, you'll need more or less than this depending on your weight gain goal.

BabyCenter.com gives some pointers on how to maximize your diet:

Here are some tips for maximizing nutrition during pregnancy:

• To meet your daily needs for protein, calories, carbohydrates, healthy fats, and key vitamins and minerals during pregnancy, eat a variety of foods. Even within a category of foods (like vegetables), look for different colors, types, and textures, for example.

• Try to minimize "extra" foods that have calories but few nutrients – sugary beverages, fried foods, foods with extra fat and sugar. Instead, choose meals and snacks that pack the most nutrition per calorie. Adding a few nutrition-packed snacks – like yogurt, nuts, a hard-boiled egg, some fresh fruits or vegetables – to your daily intake is a great way to get the healthy calories your baby needs
• Choose foods that are as close to their natural state as possible. Pick whole-grain bread or brown rice over refined white bread or white rice, and fresh fruits or frozen unsweetened fruit over canned fruits in sugar syrup, for example.
• Eat fats, oils, and sweets sparingly. And be sure to choose healthy fats.

I hope these pointers help you. And if you feel abit overwhelmed be sure to sign up for websites like:
www.babycenter.com
www.mypregnancyguide.com
www.whattoexpect.com and
www.smartmama.com

These websites will send you weekly alerts and what is going on with your body through your pregnancy as well as what to expect with a newborn.


Remember if you have any questions that you want addressed on MommE Mondays please send an email to ssanders@themommeshop.com or leave a message on our Facebook fan page The MommE Shop.

See ya Next week!

Dimples Spa for Kids

This past Friday was my daughters 3rd birthday. I spent weeks debating what to do, party, sleep over, BBQ??? After doing Google searches and asking friends for suggestions I came across the perfect place...a spa for kids!!

Dimples Kids Spa is located in Downtown Brooklyn on Montague between Hicks St. & Henry St. It is close to almost all trains so it is very easy to get there. It is a very small space but provides everything for your little Don or Diva. From Hair services like flat ironing and curling, to baby facials to manicures and pedicures this spa is there to cater to your child.

I made reservations for a manicure, pedicure, and face paint for Jade but she grew a bit impatient while allowing her nails to dry. So we cancelled the face paint service and that was no problem.

Overall I think the spa is great idea and the perfect place for a party or event. My only criticism is the place is a bit plain, not at all what I expected for a children's boutique. A little color to the walls would def make it more fun and hip for its clientele and its location. Also weekday appointments are much easier to come buy, weekends are filled with birthday parties.

Check out the pictures below of Jade enjoying her day and stay tuned for a Spa day event from the MommE-Shop!!!

I definitely recommend Dimples for your child's spa care needs LOL!

www.dimpleskidspa.com

Free Events

Happy Friday MommE's and DaddE's summer is coming to an end but that doesn't mean the fun has to stop. Here are some free events for the weekend:

Friday
Free Shakespeare Workshop and Performance, 4pm (212-333-2552)
Target Brooklyn Community Garden 933 Bedford Ave, between Willoughby and DeKalb Aves, Bedford-Stuyvesant

KidFlix Film Fest: Crooklyn, 7:30pm (718-230-0492)
Fulton Park (Fulton St, btwn Lewis and Stuyvesant ave)

River Flicks for Kids: Ice Age, Dawn of the Dinosaurs, 8:30pm (212-627-2121

Hudson River Park at Pier 46 (West and Christopher street)

Friday Family Movie Night, 6:15pm (718-923-9710)

The Moxie Spot (81-83 Hicks St.)

Sunset Jam on the Hudson, 6:30 (212-267-9700)

Robert F. Wagner Park (Battery Place)

Saturday

5^th Annual Staten Island International Dance Festival, 5pm

Tappen Park (Bay Street between Canal and Water Streets)

The Baby-Sitters Club, 3pm (212-343-6166)

Scholastic Store (557 Broadway btwn Prince and Spring St)

Canoe the Meer, 11am-3pm (212-628-2345)

Central Park, Harlem Meer (110^th Street and Adam Clayton Powell jr. Blvd)

Family Day, 12pm-4pm (718-520-5916)

Liberty Park ( Liberty Avenue btwn 172^nd and 173^rd Streets Jamaica Queens)

Mad Science: Crime Lab, 3pm (917-275-6975)

New York Public Library (42^nd street and Fifth Avenue)

New York City’s Yorkiest Block Party, 2pm-7pm (212-254-5123)

7^th Street Btwn Ave A and First Avenue

The NY City Children’s Festival, 11am-6pm (212-862-8477)

135^th Street Between Lenox and 7th Avenues

NYCE Carnival, 1pm-6pm

Superfront 1432 btwn Brooklyn and New York Avenues

Sunday

A Closer Look for Kids, 10:20am-11:30am (212-708-9805)

Museum of Modern Art (11 W 53^rd Street btwn 5ht and 6^th ave)

August Picture Book Bonanza, 1pm-3pm (212-989-3270)

Books of Wonder (18 West 18^th Street btwn 5^th and 6^th avenues)

Downtown Dance Festival, 2pm (212-691-5040

Battery Park (State Street at Battery Place)

Macy’s Back to School Summer Blow-Out, 12pm (212-695-4400)

Macy’s Herald Square (151 West 34^th Street btwn 6^th and 7^th avenue)

Summer Songs and Stories, 2pm-4pm (718-789-2822)

Lefferts Historic House (Flatbush Avenue at Empire Blvd)

Family Mornings at Baco Café, 11:30am (718-694-2226)

71 Jay Street Btwn Front and Water Sts.

Monday

Movies Under the Stars: UP, 8pm-10pm

Cunningham Park (Clearview Expwy to Francis Lewis Blvd, btwn LIE and GCP

ENJOY!!! AND IF YOU ARE HAVING AN EVENT THAT YOU WOULD LIKE POSTED BE SURE TO SEND INFORMATION TO SSANDERS@THEMOMMESHOP.COM PLEASE INCLUDE EVENT NAME, TIME, PRICE, LOCATION, AND A CONTACT NUMBER

Baby Shower Fever

So its that time of year again, BABY SHOWER TIME...in the past month I have had friends attend about 5 baby showers and I have 2 to go to myself next month. With that being said I thought today I would highlight a good friend who you readers will be sure to love!

Are you tired of giving the same gifts all the time? Well my friend Tiffany makes Diaper Cakes as well as baskets to give as gifts. Here are some pictures of cakes she has done!




Like what you see? I'm sure you do! So if you would like to have a diaper cake made or a basket made please email her at Patterson8208@gmail.com and be sure to put diaper cake in the subject and let her know you got this information from MommE-Talk!

So guys instead of giving the same boring gift, give something fun and useful, diapers are a moms best friend!!!

If you are a MommE with a business or you have a business targeting MommE's and you want it showcased Please send all information to ssanders@themommeshop.com and be sure to put MommE-Talk in the subject line.

Until Next time its MommE-Talk!

Cod Liver Oil

When I was younger, I woke up every morning to three things: Hot 97 morning show with Ed, Lisa and Dre; a cup of juice; and COD LIVER OIL. I remember it clearly my mother standing there with the spoon in hand and a stern voice saying swallow it and I better not spill it. YUCK!!! Just the thought of how terrible it tasted makes me shiver. I made a promise that I would NEVER make my children suffer through taking this nonsense!

WELL NEVER SAY NEVER is a great phrase. LOL. I now find myself reading up and trying to purchase Cod Liver Oil for Jade. And I understand why my mother was so adamant about it. Jade started school last week and the first thing I noticed was the snotty nose little boy who coughed all over the place and wanted Jade to sit next to him. YUCK! I also realized I can not afford to take off work in the next few weeks to stay home and nurse my child back to health. So now I am searching for methods on keeping her immune system strong and the first thing that popped into my mind was COD LIVER OIL.

So now I am looking at the pro's and cons of giving it to Jade and where can it be purchased. This is what I have found:

It is one of the most reliable and concentrated food sources of four nutrients that are essential to human health: DHA, EPA, vitamin A, and vitamin D. These four nutrients are needed for:

• Healthy skin

• Strong bones and teeth

• Healthy joints

• A healthy cardiovascular system

• A healthy nervous system and prevention of depression and other mood disorders

• A healthy digestive tract

Research has also shown that consuming 1-2 teaspoons of cod liver oil daily can help to prevent serious diseases such as cancer, diabetes, arthritis, musculoskeletal pain, kidney problems, and high cholesterol.
So I guess my mom was right (I never thought I would say that LOL) and I'm now off to Kmart on my lunch break to pick up a bottle!

Whats your thoughts or home remedies?

My friend GaGa

So this weekend I met Gaga, not Lady Gaga the entertainer, but Gaga Jade's new friend. Onmany occasions I have heard Jade talking to herself but thought nothing of it, she is an only child. But this weekend things were a lot more detailed. I asked Jade who she was talking to and she screamed GAGA! I said o is gaga a boy or a girl? She said a girl mommy she is right here. I said o can you tell her I said hi.

I must admit I first I thought it was hilarious, I laughed and couldn't figure out why the kids name was GaGa of all things. But then I felt a little relieved. Jade was reading to GaGa, and I had a few moments to run her bath water and get her clothes out and ready for the day, hmmm I thought this isn't so bad after all.

So instead of making her feel uncomfortable I let it be and have done an internet search on the topic. Here is what I found

According to Familyresource.com (Armin Brott) Imaginary friends can:

• They can be wonderful companions for pretend play, which is an important way to stimulate creativity and imagination. Having an invisible friend can make those long trips to the moon or back in time a little less lonely.
• They can act as a child's trusted confidant when there's no one else to tell their secrets to. Even small children have issues that are too private to tell us.
• They can help kids figure out the difference between right and wrong. Kids sometimes have a tough time stopping themselves from doing things they know are wrong. Blaming the imaginary friend for eating cookies before dinner is often a sign that the child understands right vs. wrong distinctions but isn't quite ready to assume complete responsibility for her actions.
• They can give you some valuable insights into your child's feelings. Listening to your child bravely comfort an invisible friend who's about to get a shot may be a clue that your child is more afraid than she's letting on.

Earlychildhood.suite101.com says:

• Parents that are annoyed over their child’s imaginary friend (especially when the friend spills the milk or eats the last cookie) should look at the positives. It is believed that children with imaginary friends are actually very creative and they often have better verbal skills than children that do not have these friends. Also, if your child does not do well at entertain herself, your imaginary friend may serve that purpose, too. She may not want to play in her room alone, but she might spend a lot of time in there playing with the friend.

So mommy's now that we know its perfectly normal, what are your children's imaginary friend stories and how have you dealt with this issue?

A Black Mother and her Son!

Due to many conversations and Facebook statuses I decided to talk about the relationship between a Black Mother and her son! I will talk about discipline and life lessons so sit back and relax your in for a ride!

So many times I hear black mothers saying how they will wait for their sons father to come home and then when those same boys are bigger they are so confused as to why these same boys dont respect their authority. I also hear black women saying how the world is tough enough on their boys so they need to get their affection from home. Let a man toughen him up. Oh and the imfamous I cant teach a man to be a man so I wait for his dad.

Now I know those are all different issues but lets start with the discipline. Lets be real no child will respect you if you dont discipline them. I dont care what your tactic is but discipline is NECESSARY!! *note that i said discipline not abuse!* I am a firm believer that you have to start young with displaying your authority with a child. You can not I repeat you CAN NOT wait until the child is 3 or 4 to try to become an authorative figure. By then the child already has figured out they can do what they want with you and will continue to be disrespectful. If you have a son you NEED to discipline him AND tell his dad so he can be disciplined twice. This ties into the issue of teaching a boy to be a man. Teaching a child respect has nothing to do with gender. So if you are his mother you can allow his dad to teach him to be a man but BOTH of you need to discipline and teach respect, guidance and life lessons.

My second issue is the pampering of these boys and showing them "affection." Now don't get me wrong. I am the first to hug and kiss my child, nieces, nephews, cousins etc. I do believe that little boys should be shown lots of love. BUT at the same time I believe in making them grow up. I have many friends (females) who have brothers. The female knows how to wash, cook, goes to college, finds an apartment, a job, manages bills EVERYTHING. But for some reason their brother, raised by the same person, cant do anything. They are sorry and looking for a women who will continue to take care of them. They stay home forever not ever really doing anything to help the household. They may pay a bill or two but if mom leaves the earth tomorrow they will live a life of fast-food or marry quickly to be taken care of. What kind of lesson is this. Why are we teaching our daughters that they have to be strong and take care of house and family but teaching our sons to be lazy!

Black mothers we must do better. The same way our daughters cook our sons should cook too! The same way our daughters clean, our sons need to clean too! The same way our daughters are taught to be strong our sons need to be strong too, maybe even stronger then our daughters. Lets raise our sons to be MEN not someone else's burden.

I know I had a lot to say today...but what do you think??? Leave a comment!

It's MommE-Talk!

Happy Mother's Day!

Its that time of year where we need to celebrate that special woman who brought us into this world. For all of you who are celebrating your first Mother's day welcome to the world of madness, and happiness, emotions and love!
For those of you who are expecting, congrats you are about to enter a club where only the strong survive!
And for the vets, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to you keep up the good work!

Super Mom

Mom, you're a wonderful mother,
So gentle, yet so strong.
The many ways you show you care
Always make me feel I belong.You're patient when I'm foolish;
You give guidance when I ask;
It seems you can do most anything;
You're the master of every task.You're a dependable source of comfort;
You're my cushion when I fall.
You help in times of trouble;
You support me whenever I call.I love you more than you know;
You have my total respect.
If I had my choice of mothers,
You'd be the one I'd select!By Joanna Fuchs

I'm not your Superwoman

Good Afternoon MommE's,

Yesterday a good friend and fellow MommE sent me an interesting article to read titled Lighten up on Yours to Have a Better Life. She said read this it will be great to discuss on your blog. So im taking her advice.

How many of you Mom's are trying to superwoman? I can admit I am! I work full time, and as you all know I am also working on my company The MommE-Shop. Outside of that I am planning my mothers destination wedding, being a mom, and I have started a new relationship. But I still feel its not enough! I want a radio show, travel agency, and I want to plan a fundraiser for a scholarship I just learned about. What is wrong with me?? Why do I feel like my worth as a person is determined by all the projects I take on?

As women, we often over do it. We work so hard to prove ourselves to others. And I think as women of color we take this ten steps further. At work we over compensate and go far beyond the norm to prove that we are as good as and better than our counterparts. We come home and take care of the kids and husband/boyfriend in an attempt to make them happy as well. Our family calls and here we come running with an S on our chest to make it all better. We join the gym because we have to lose 10 pounds. And after all of that we still want extra responsibilities.

But we have to stop!!! We need to take better care of ourselves and stop trying to run ourselves into the ground. WE ARE GOOD ENOUGH AS WE ARE! We don't have to prove anything to anyone. So MommE's in honor of Mothers Day, put your projects down, kick up your feet and enjoy your weekend!! Believe me YOU DESERVE IT!



http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/wayoflife/05/03/o.well.lived.life.key/index.html

Planning a Birthday Party

Summer is coming and it seems that so many children in my life have birthdays coming and parents are trying to figure out what to do next. I guess this is what happens with winter loving, we get summer and fall babies LOL. Anyway I thought I would share my advice on planning hassle free birthday parties.

My number one piece of advice is DON'T give a party every year. Why drive yourself crazy? Your child does not need an elaborate birthday celebration every year. Its a waste of money especially in the early years when they don't even know its their birthday. You get all stressed and the child usually doesnt even want to be bothered. And as they get older many children don't want to be bothered with parties either. Lets stick to the milestone ages 1, 5, 10, 15 or 16, 18, 21. and maybe 1 or 2 in between if the child really wants one.

My next bit of advice is find a place that does all the work for you. No matter where you are there are places that throw parties for children of all ages. They do everything from invitations, to birthday cake, and all in between. You dont have to set up or breakdown you just show up. Whats better then that? Many of these places are even using themes to help you out. Sounds great doesn't it? At the bottom of this post I have listed a few places in the NYC area that I think look fun.

If you are like me and have a child who has a birthday in summer months or around a summer holiday throw a BBQ. Whats easier then having a few people over and throwing some hamburgers and hot-dogs on the grill. Let the kids run around crazy. Hire a clown or character to come with some games for the little ones and if the child is older get some jump ropes and a basketball hoop. Or plan some relay races they will love that.

Do you have a daughter. The easiest birthday party of all time is slumber party. You order some pizza, let them rent some movies, paint each others nails, giggle and chat all night if they want. And you don't have to be bothered at all. AAAAH I sure can't wait for Jade to reach about 8 she will def have a sleep over LOL.

My final tip! If all else fails call a party planner. Leave the stress to the professionals. Sometimes the extra money spent is well worth it if you have no headache and no hassle!



Fun Party Activities:

http://www.totallyglamgirlsclub.com/default.html

http://www.thebirthdayzone.com/

http://www.daveandbusters.com/

http://www.chuckecheese.com/

http://www.appleseedsnyc.com/birthdays.html

http://www.creativedreamparties.com/packages.php

http://www.nykidsclub.com/Birthday-Party-Places-NYC.cfm

There are tons of other places in NYC these are just a few! If you know of any that you really love be sure to leave a comment!

Remember its MommE-Talk!

I dont like her! Now What

Hello MommE's,

Today's topic is one that sparks lots of attention and playground discussions. What do you do when your child doesn't like your ex's new Beau? A very good friend and I have been debating what happens when a child doesn't like the new person in your life or or Ex's life.

As a child, my parents separated when I was merely 2 years old. My dad and my stepmother have been together since I was about 5 years old while my mother dated (been in long term relationships) and is now remarrying. Over the years there have been men my mom dated that my sister and I didn't like but we had no say in the matter. We were to be respectful and that was that. And over the years the relationship with my step-mom has changed and gone from me not liking her to me respecting and understanding her much more. But again I had no say on if my dad would stay with her or not.

So now I am chatting with a friend who tells me her 4 year old doesn't like his fathers girlfriend. Her son has told her the woman is rude. When she asks her ex, he explains that nothing has ever happened and as a matter of fact the woman has little interaction with their son. In our conversation she continues by saying she doesn't feel her son should have to be around the girlfriend if he doesn't want to be.

So my response, don't be silly. Nothing has happened. Your son is 4 years old and he has no say! Many times as children we see things the way we want to see them and if we even have an inkling we can get our way we will try to. If her son thinks mommy doesn't like the new girlfriend well he doesn't have to either. Let it go. Keep an open line of communication with your son to make sure there are no issues but other then that move on. Pick your battles with your ex because along the way their will be plenty. And what happens when the shoe is on the other foot. When you get into a relationship and your precious boy doesn't agree. Do you want your ex calling you with nonsense?

So MommE's and DaddE's what do you think? This mom is looking for opinions and suggestions. Feel free to make a comment on the blog or comment on the FB page.

Just remember its MommE-Talk!

She Colors My Day

The relationship between a mother and daughter is a dynamic that cant be explained. It is quite different from that of a mother and son and even that of a father and son. The mom and daughter team is unstoppable but can also have such opposition.

I grew up in a single parent home. My mother was the soul provider to two daughters. Imagine that household of 3 women hahaha the estrogen was flowing. But my mother deserves the utmost respect. She did a damn good job of raising my sister and I if I do say so myself.

I must admit growing up I wasn't the easiest child to deal with. I have always been opinionated and would never hold my tongue for anyone, my mother included. Although it frustrated my mother and I ended up on punishment many nights, she never once tried to change me. While others compared me to my sister, she continued to foster my own identity and helped me become the strong women I am today. She made sure I could cook, and clean (although this is my least favorite thing of all) and most importantly she made sure I valued education.

My mother worked hard to give us things and make up for the fact that my dad lived states away. She not only made it happen with us but she was and still is a major factor in the lives of our family. She worked all day and came home and cooked dinner for my sister and I as well as my 2 younger cousins (who are more like sisters). Saturday mornings were filled with great breakfasts, home fries biscuits eggs and sausage, or pancakes and french toast. We never had cereal or things like ravioli, mommy made sure she cooked daily.

When I finally got old enough to tend for myself my mom enrolled in school. To my surprise we would graduate together from college LOL me on sunday and she on thursday. She shows me that nothing should ever stand in the way of your dreams. She taught me that although there is struggle you will get what you want as long as you work hard for it.

I am now a mother and my daughter cherishes my mom. In her words "Nana Loves me the most" LOL. She has been such a help in my life and is a wonderful grandmother. My only wish is to be half the mother she is and be able to teach Jade the same things she has taught me. I love my mother greatly and would like to thank her for all of the sacrifices and hard work.

Many of us take advantage of our parents! But please be sure to stop and say thank you, tell them how much you appreciate and love them. I know I will be doing so tonight and I will be smiling bright as I watch my mom get married this summer.

I wrote this post today in honor of the She Colors my Day Project.



* The she colors my day project began when a mother named Annette, dying of breast cancer, created a keepsake for the four daughters she was preparing to leave behind. Annette sent a c.d. of she and her daughters singing to her many friends and family. Unbeknown to Annette, her act of love would
be the inspiration for her friend, Cristina Carlino, founder of Project Miracle and former CEO of philosophy, to ignite the she colors my day movement - a celebration of the never-ending bonds of mothers and daughters. The now worldwide she colors my day movement embarks upon a global journey to create for a cure.

Free Weekend Events

Happy Friday MommE's and DaddE's here are some free weekend events! Enjoy the weather and if your religious enjoy this religious weekend!

Friday, April 3, 2010Easter Eggstravaganza
2:00pm
Queens Library, Long Island City 37-44 21st St, btwn 36th and 37th ave

Hamlet, Prince of Denmark
Tonight–Tomorrow 7pm, Tue–Thu 7pm Ongoing through Apr 18.
World Financial Center Plaza 220 Vessey St


Target Free First Friday Night
Today 5pm–8pm
Children's Museum of Manhattan 212 W 83rd St, between Amsterdam Ave and Broadway

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Annual Crotona Park Easter Egg Hunt
12:00 p.m.–3:00 p.m.

The event is totally free and sponsored by NYC Parks and the Friends of Crotona Park

Easter Celebration
12:00pm-4:oopm

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Detective Keith L Williams Park Queens

Let's Go to the Movies
1:00pm

Doris Freedman Plaza (in Central Park 60th and 5th)

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Unscrambling the Egg

1:00pm-3:00pm
Audubon Center at the Boathouse (Prospect Park)

Spring Celebration

Easter Scavenger Hunt

11:00 a.m.
Rose and Oak avenues (in Kissena Park), Queens

I'm Back

I have been gone for awhile on the blog and I am so sorry. I have not forgot you guys but have been working on bringing the MommE-Shop to fruition as well as working on events for you MommE's and your children.

But today I am so frustrated that I have to write and vent and I hope you don't mind. Today I need to ask when do Dadde's grow up? When does it register for them that someone else needs them and relies heavily on them? When do priorities kick in?

For most mothers the moment you are told you are pregnant your life changes. Gone are the days of partying and drinking with your friends instead we welcome sickness, tiredness and body aches. Gone are the days of frivolous spending and unhealthy eating but we now say hello to setting a budget and creating a savings account and a new diet to protect this precious life inside you. But for some men this doesn't happen.

I have spent 3 years hoping and praying this man would grow up and realize his children come first! Not first in his book but first for real. The needs and wants of them trump you wanting to go away or having a day off. Their needs and wants are more important then you and your issues at work. Unfortunately that has not happened yet.

We moms are told to hold our heads, to pray about it, to work hard and focus on our children. We are forced to ask others for help while we struggle, cry, yell and smile for the kids. We do it all with nothing at all while they live their lives and smile at the progress of the child.

I pray that any male reading this understands this is not a bash but a push to do better. Step back and think about how you would want a dude to treat your daughter in the future or your sister. Understand that your children need you ALL the time and your child's mother respects a man who does the right thing ALL the time. For the males who do right be sure to tell your friends that YOU KNOW are doing wrong to step up. Tell them to man up and be a better father for those kids because if you don't who will.

For all the MommE's reading this who are struggling to make it happen remember there are others out there just like you and all you can do is your best. Your happiness creates a happy baby and a happy baby is all we want. For those of you who are fortunate enough to have a great significant other and father of your child be sure to tell him thank you and how much you appreciate the help he gives. Remember all of us are not as blessed as you and you want to keep that man feeling happy and appreciated.

The black family is struggling and its up to us to fix it folks!

Have a great Weekend!