A Black Mother and her Son!

Due to many conversations and Facebook statuses I decided to talk about the relationship between a Black Mother and her son! I will talk about discipline and life lessons so sit back and relax your in for a ride!

So many times I hear black mothers saying how they will wait for their sons father to come home and then when those same boys are bigger they are so confused as to why these same boys dont respect their authority. I also hear black women saying how the world is tough enough on their boys so they need to get their affection from home. Let a man toughen him up. Oh and the imfamous I cant teach a man to be a man so I wait for his dad.

Now I know those are all different issues but lets start with the discipline. Lets be real no child will respect you if you dont discipline them. I dont care what your tactic is but discipline is NECESSARY!! *note that i said discipline not abuse!* I am a firm believer that you have to start young with displaying your authority with a child. You can not I repeat you CAN NOT wait until the child is 3 or 4 to try to become an authorative figure. By then the child already has figured out they can do what they want with you and will continue to be disrespectful. If you have a son you NEED to discipline him AND tell his dad so he can be disciplined twice. This ties into the issue of teaching a boy to be a man. Teaching a child respect has nothing to do with gender. So if you are his mother you can allow his dad to teach him to be a man but BOTH of you need to discipline and teach respect, guidance and life lessons.

My second issue is the pampering of these boys and showing them "affection." Now don't get me wrong. I am the first to hug and kiss my child, nieces, nephews, cousins etc. I do believe that little boys should be shown lots of love. BUT at the same time I believe in making them grow up. I have many friends (females) who have brothers. The female knows how to wash, cook, goes to college, finds an apartment, a job, manages bills EVERYTHING. But for some reason their brother, raised by the same person, cant do anything. They are sorry and looking for a women who will continue to take care of them. They stay home forever not ever really doing anything to help the household. They may pay a bill or two but if mom leaves the earth tomorrow they will live a life of fast-food or marry quickly to be taken care of. What kind of lesson is this. Why are we teaching our daughters that they have to be strong and take care of house and family but teaching our sons to be lazy!

Black mothers we must do better. The same way our daughters cook our sons should cook too! The same way our daughters clean, our sons need to clean too! The same way our daughters are taught to be strong our sons need to be strong too, maybe even stronger then our daughters. Lets raise our sons to be MEN not someone else's burden.

I know I had a lot to say today...but what do you think??? Leave a comment!

It's MommE-Talk!