Here is the scene: You meet a guy, you like him, you start dating, you get kind of serious, he asks to meet your child, your answer is?
Upfront I can tell you my answer is Jade is off limits. She is the most sacred part of me and unless you are ready to put a ring on it there is no need for you to meet her or interact with her. Yes I have read Steve Harvey's book and he disagrees with me, he thinks I should see if my child likes him and how he does with her. What if he hates kids, what if its all an act, Steve thinks I should find this out upfront. To some extent I agree! I do believe I need to know how he feels about children but at the same time I KNOW it is my duty to protect Jade at all costs and I believe his true feelings will surface eventually. I mean over a period of time you will have to cancel dates because the little one is sick, you will have to call him back to bathe your child, there will be days at a time that you cant see him, a babysitter will cancel there will be issues and he will either deal with it gracefully or he will show his true colors.
Maybe its because I have a daughter and I am so scared of anything or anyone ever harming her. Maybe its because I know there are so many crazy people in this world and you just never know but I don't want to bring men around Jade. I have seen and I have heard so many women who bring every man she dates around her child and I wonder why. I wonder why she thinks every man deserves that privilege and yes I think it is a privilege to meet someones child. Then I wonder what happens when things don't turn out for the best and then the next man comes around. Why would you want to put your child(ren) through that?
Or am I over doing it? Am I too worried? Too protective? Am I doing a disservice to myself and my relationship. By keeping everything so separate I run the risk of losing out on a good man who wants to be in my child's life. If I don't let him meet her then I cant see him or hang out without a babysitter.
So whats a mother to do? Talk to me folks!
Its MommE-Talk!!!
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Hell no you're not wrong. A good man, whether he has kids or not, will understand the situation. I have a son and a daughter and boys are abused too! It is your duty as parent to protect your children...not just from danger, but from disappointment too. Introducing some dude to your kids because you like him invites your child(ren) to become attached to someone who might not stick around. Que breakup - Now your baby is asking about "so and so" and you know he's not on the scene anymore. Futher, what are you teaching your son/daughter about relationships if all they can remember once they're adults is mommy's bedroom had a revolving door??
ReplyDeleteAnd who gives a hoot what Steve Harvey thinks (Sorry I didn't read the book)
I am late on this one but I think once you feel comfortable enough with a person you will not have a problem with them meeting Jade. Everyone should not have the priviledge of meeting your child. I tell everyone I know I firmly believe I did not meet my stepfather until him and my mom got married. I do not remember him prior to their wedding. A young developing mind does not need to know every dude as uncle such and such. Your approach is 100% correct and works best for U. In time that special someone will be able to meet Jade until then she is defiitely off limits.
ReplyDelete