Whats LOVE gotta do with it!!!

Hey Guys,

I hope your holiday season has been filled with joyous days and nights and you have created new memories of you and your little one.

Today though I want to write about moving on. Ironically today I had 2 separate conversations with 2 beautiful black women. Both about letting go and moving on. Both about LOVE and relationships. So today I ask how long do you wait before you let go of the relationship and focus solely on the benefit of the child? How long and under what circumstances do you hold on to LOVE and what is it about that word that makes us women stick around and be used and abused?

I understand that as a mother you want the best for your child and you want them to grow up in a home with both parents but when that obviously is not working whats the best thing to do? I grew up in a home with lots of extended family. My parents separated when I was very young and I don't ever remember living with mommy and daddy. But my mom had the support of her family, my aunts, grandmother, grandfather, family friends were all her support system.

They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and I guess they are right. I am living that life right now. 6 months after Jade was born I made the decision to kick Jades dad out. Why would I allow him to stay there and did what he wanted but do nothing for his child. It has been a long and tough road but I like my mom have the help of family and friends and wouldn't trade that in at all for him to still be living with me treating me like crap, stressing me out and not being there for Jade.

So when I hear about other women taking crap much more crap then I ever took I don't understand why. I don't care how much you love him your love wont force him to be a father and it damn sure wont force him to be a partner. What are you teaching your children, that just because they are around you will live in misery and cheat and argue and cry and fight so that you can prove a point and say your mate is still in the picture.

Ladies let 2010 be about bettering you and letting go of the foolish men in your lives. Believe me he will realize what he lost and you will find happiness and LOVE again!

Whats your opinion??? Leave a comment!!

Its MommE-Talk!!

Mommy's friend!

Here is the scene: You meet a guy, you like him, you start dating, you get kind of serious, he asks to meet your child, your answer is?

Upfront I can tell you my answer is Jade is off limits. She is the most sacred part of me and unless you are ready to put a ring on it there is no need for you to meet her or interact with her. Yes I have read Steve Harvey's book and he disagrees with me, he thinks I should see if my child likes him and how he does with her. What if he hates kids, what if its all an act, Steve thinks I should find this out upfront. To some extent I agree! I do believe I need to know how he feels about children but at the same time I KNOW it is my duty to protect Jade at all costs and I believe his true feelings will surface eventually. I mean over a period of time you will have to cancel dates because the little one is sick, you will have to call him back to bathe your child, there will be days at a time that you cant see him, a babysitter will cancel there will be issues and he will either deal with it gracefully or he will show his true colors.

Maybe its because I have a daughter and I am so scared of anything or anyone ever harming her. Maybe its because I know there are so many crazy people in this world and you just never know but I don't want to bring men around Jade. I have seen and I have heard so many women who bring every man she dates around her child and I wonder why. I wonder why she thinks every man deserves that privilege and yes I think it is a privilege to meet someones child. Then I wonder what happens when things don't turn out for the best and then the next man comes around. Why would you want to put your child(ren) through that?

Or am I over doing it? Am I too worried? Too protective? Am I doing a disservice to myself and my relationship. By keeping everything so separate I run the risk of losing out on a good man who wants to be in my child's life. If I don't let him meet her then I cant see him or hang out without a babysitter.

So whats a mother to do? Talk to me folks!


Its MommE-Talk!!!

Going Broke For Xmas

I know I've been gone too long but Im back and more on point with my posts.

So its holiday time, time to shop, time to hide gifts, time to put up trees and decorations, time to read stories about santa, and sing christmas carols, but most importantly time to go broke LOL.

This year is the first year Jade understands whats going on. We have watched Dora's Xmas special and have spoke about Santa and gifts. She watches commercials with awe and admiration of all the new toys out. So I must admit i have gone a little crazy for her. This yeah I have bought toys for her, toys for the dolls, clothes, everything I could think of that she liked. I have planned our day to include breakfast and a movie, toy playing and naps. I am definitely excited about my baby growing up and enjoying christmas.

But recently I sat down and thought about all the parents who spend rent money and bill money on making sure their children have "everything they want" instead of making sure they have everything they need. Why do so many children in the hoods have every pair of sneakers, every game and game system but their parents have beat down apartments, cant afford their rent, or any other bills?

This post is not to judge anyone or the situations they are in because there have been plenty of days in which I have struggled and made bad decisions but I think we need to do better. How can we teach our children to do better if we are making silly decisions ourselves? How do we get society to stop judging us as single parents, especially single mothers of color if we dont get out of living in these stereotypes and do better for us and our children.


What's your opinions? Leave a Comment and Opinion!


It's MommE-Talk!

Work vs. The Holidays

Hey Guys,

I hope you all had a great weekend! Although I had a cold Jade and I still had a great weekend, from Philly to Harlem, parties to baby showers, play dates and fun Jade's weekend was jam packed which always means happiness for the both of us.

Today I wanted to talk about balancing work and holiday vacations. At my job we get 18 days for the entire year which includes sick days. So what happens when the end of the year arrives, day cares are closed, babysitters want off, nannies visit family yet your stuck at work? How can you manage 18 days when your a single mom, when you get sick, your child gets sick, emergencies arrive, and you plan a vacation. What do you do?

The life of a working mom is so hectic. This year I will be working during that 2 week time that most childcare professionals want off and thankfully I have a family that is really supportive and can help me. But what do the parents do that aren't as fortunate as I? What happens when your not a teacher and don't have a back up system? Does that mean you have to forfeit the family vacation earlier in the year to have the time to take off? Or do you drag your children to work with you?

I have no real answers to these questions and I wonder what some of you do during this time of year.

I'm looking out for your replies!! Talk to Me!

Its MommE-Talk!

The MommE-Shop, where being a mom is as sweet as it gets!

For the past few years I have been struggling with the idea of a career. What in this world can I do for the next 40 years that I wont hate in 2. I have tried many jobs, many paths, and have always had issues. I either hate my boss, hate my coworkers, hate what I do all together, or cant get the right break. I have been an advisor, a publicity assistant, customer service assistant and ad sales assistant. I have worked for major media companies and great colleges and still I'm unhappy.

While Attending a lunch and learn at Time Inc. I was told to figure out what you love because it wont seem like work. I was told to make sacrifices and make it happen. So here I am making it happen. Event planning and helping people is what I love. I want to make sure I give back to the community I came from and others like it. All the while I want to plan events.

So here it is The MommE Shop! where being a mom is as sweet as it gets!!! I am opening an event company for working moms of color. A place where they can network, let go, and meet people like themselves. Many times we hear of events for moms and moms to be and once we get there we feel out of place. Not one person looks like us or understands our struggles, many of these women are stay at home moms and have the nanny in tow. Well now there will be events just for us.

I hope to gain readers on this blog and more importantly i hope to see many of you at my events.

Until then, It's MommE-Talk!

2 going on 22

I don't know how many times I heard this kid must have been here before with other peoples children but boy o boy does that saying ring true with Jade. Everyday I look forward to nightly conversations with her just so I can hear what she will say to crack me up. Today's posting is just going to be snippets of various conversations I have had with Jade in the past few months be prepared to bust a gut.

I need a Bra
Jade: Mommy whats that
Me: My Bra
Jade: ooo I need that
Me: You don't need a Bra its for big girls
Jade: (sucks her teeth) I am a big girl I need that
Me: Jade please you don't need a bra
Jade: (pointing in her shirt) Look mommy look a' me I need that
Me: Cracking up

Her Shadow
Jade: whats that?? Mommy mommy whats that?
Me: Its your shadow
Jade: My Shadow??
Me: Yes she will be with you wherever you are.
Jade: Reallly!! Awww Shadow your sooo cute!!


Front to Back (convo with my grandmother)
Jade: Ma I need to go potty
Ma: OK
(after she finishes)
Jade: I can do it I can wipe it myself
Ma: no Jade let me wipe you properly
Ma: OK go in the living room i have to use the bathroom
Jade: No i wait right here
(after ma uses bathroom)
Jade: Front to back Ma wipe it front to Back


I could go on for days with the conversations I have with Jade daily but this was just a little insight on my day to day happiness!

Daily we worry about issues with significant others, work, making the ends meet, just stress. But today we need to stop and look at the small things t hat make us happy. Please share your conversations with your children. We can all use a smile on our faces.

It's MommE-Talk