A Black Mother and her Son!

Due to many conversations and Facebook statuses I decided to talk about the relationship between a Black Mother and her son! I will talk about discipline and life lessons so sit back and relax your in for a ride!

So many times I hear black mothers saying how they will wait for their sons father to come home and then when those same boys are bigger they are so confused as to why these same boys dont respect their authority. I also hear black women saying how the world is tough enough on their boys so they need to get their affection from home. Let a man toughen him up. Oh and the imfamous I cant teach a man to be a man so I wait for his dad.

Now I know those are all different issues but lets start with the discipline. Lets be real no child will respect you if you dont discipline them. I dont care what your tactic is but discipline is NECESSARY!! *note that i said discipline not abuse!* I am a firm believer that you have to start young with displaying your authority with a child. You can not I repeat you CAN NOT wait until the child is 3 or 4 to try to become an authorative figure. By then the child already has figured out they can do what they want with you and will continue to be disrespectful. If you have a son you NEED to discipline him AND tell his dad so he can be disciplined twice. This ties into the issue of teaching a boy to be a man. Teaching a child respect has nothing to do with gender. So if you are his mother you can allow his dad to teach him to be a man but BOTH of you need to discipline and teach respect, guidance and life lessons.

My second issue is the pampering of these boys and showing them "affection." Now don't get me wrong. I am the first to hug and kiss my child, nieces, nephews, cousins etc. I do believe that little boys should be shown lots of love. BUT at the same time I believe in making them grow up. I have many friends (females) who have brothers. The female knows how to wash, cook, goes to college, finds an apartment, a job, manages bills EVERYTHING. But for some reason their brother, raised by the same person, cant do anything. They are sorry and looking for a women who will continue to take care of them. They stay home forever not ever really doing anything to help the household. They may pay a bill or two but if mom leaves the earth tomorrow they will live a life of fast-food or marry quickly to be taken care of. What kind of lesson is this. Why are we teaching our daughters that they have to be strong and take care of house and family but teaching our sons to be lazy!

Black mothers we must do better. The same way our daughters cook our sons should cook too! The same way our daughters clean, our sons need to clean too! The same way our daughters are taught to be strong our sons need to be strong too, maybe even stronger then our daughters. Lets raise our sons to be MEN not someone else's burden.

I know I had a lot to say today...but what do you think??? Leave a comment!

It's MommE-Talk!

Happy Mother's Day!

Its that time of year where we need to celebrate that special woman who brought us into this world. For all of you who are celebrating your first Mother's day welcome to the world of madness, and happiness, emotions and love!
For those of you who are expecting, congrats you are about to enter a club where only the strong survive!
And for the vets, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to you keep up the good work!

Super Mom

Mom, you're a wonderful mother,
So gentle, yet so strong.
The many ways you show you care
Always make me feel I belong.You're patient when I'm foolish;
You give guidance when I ask;
It seems you can do most anything;
You're the master of every task.You're a dependable source of comfort;
You're my cushion when I fall.
You help in times of trouble;
You support me whenever I call.I love you more than you know;
You have my total respect.
If I had my choice of mothers,
You'd be the one I'd select!By Joanna Fuchs

I'm not your Superwoman

Good Afternoon MommE's,

Yesterday a good friend and fellow MommE sent me an interesting article to read titled Lighten up on Yours to Have a Better Life. She said read this it will be great to discuss on your blog. So im taking her advice.

How many of you Mom's are trying to superwoman? I can admit I am! I work full time, and as you all know I am also working on my company The MommE-Shop. Outside of that I am planning my mothers destination wedding, being a mom, and I have started a new relationship. But I still feel its not enough! I want a radio show, travel agency, and I want to plan a fundraiser for a scholarship I just learned about. What is wrong with me?? Why do I feel like my worth as a person is determined by all the projects I take on?

As women, we often over do it. We work so hard to prove ourselves to others. And I think as women of color we take this ten steps further. At work we over compensate and go far beyond the norm to prove that we are as good as and better than our counterparts. We come home and take care of the kids and husband/boyfriend in an attempt to make them happy as well. Our family calls and here we come running with an S on our chest to make it all better. We join the gym because we have to lose 10 pounds. And after all of that we still want extra responsibilities.

But we have to stop!!! We need to take better care of ourselves and stop trying to run ourselves into the ground. WE ARE GOOD ENOUGH AS WE ARE! We don't have to prove anything to anyone. So MommE's in honor of Mothers Day, put your projects down, kick up your feet and enjoy your weekend!! Believe me YOU DESERVE IT!



http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/wayoflife/05/03/o.well.lived.life.key/index.html

Planning a Birthday Party

Summer is coming and it seems that so many children in my life have birthdays coming and parents are trying to figure out what to do next. I guess this is what happens with winter loving, we get summer and fall babies LOL. Anyway I thought I would share my advice on planning hassle free birthday parties.

My number one piece of advice is DON'T give a party every year. Why drive yourself crazy? Your child does not need an elaborate birthday celebration every year. Its a waste of money especially in the early years when they don't even know its their birthday. You get all stressed and the child usually doesnt even want to be bothered. And as they get older many children don't want to be bothered with parties either. Lets stick to the milestone ages 1, 5, 10, 15 or 16, 18, 21. and maybe 1 or 2 in between if the child really wants one.

My next bit of advice is find a place that does all the work for you. No matter where you are there are places that throw parties for children of all ages. They do everything from invitations, to birthday cake, and all in between. You dont have to set up or breakdown you just show up. Whats better then that? Many of these places are even using themes to help you out. Sounds great doesn't it? At the bottom of this post I have listed a few places in the NYC area that I think look fun.

If you are like me and have a child who has a birthday in summer months or around a summer holiday throw a BBQ. Whats easier then having a few people over and throwing some hamburgers and hot-dogs on the grill. Let the kids run around crazy. Hire a clown or character to come with some games for the little ones and if the child is older get some jump ropes and a basketball hoop. Or plan some relay races they will love that.

Do you have a daughter. The easiest birthday party of all time is slumber party. You order some pizza, let them rent some movies, paint each others nails, giggle and chat all night if they want. And you don't have to be bothered at all. AAAAH I sure can't wait for Jade to reach about 8 she will def have a sleep over LOL.

My final tip! If all else fails call a party planner. Leave the stress to the professionals. Sometimes the extra money spent is well worth it if you have no headache and no hassle!



Fun Party Activities:

http://www.totallyglamgirlsclub.com/default.html

http://www.thebirthdayzone.com/

http://www.daveandbusters.com/

http://www.chuckecheese.com/

http://www.appleseedsnyc.com/birthdays.html

http://www.creativedreamparties.com/packages.php

http://www.nykidsclub.com/Birthday-Party-Places-NYC.cfm

There are tons of other places in NYC these are just a few! If you know of any that you really love be sure to leave a comment!

Remember its MommE-Talk!